


Not Your Fault

by writingbychelle



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, i'm only just now uploading it but it’s been on my tumblr for like almost a year, psa I wrote this directly after the trailer for endgame came out, so like, survivors guilt i guess, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-25 15:29:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20914373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingbychelle/pseuds/writingbychelle
Summary: Your boyfriend blames himself after the events of Infinity War.





	Not Your Fault

With a deep sigh, you stood up from your position on your bed in the Avengers headquarters, making sure to not put too much weight on your injured leg as you limped out of your room to search for your boyfriend. You had only recently arrived back in the United States after the tragedy that went down in the kingdom of Wakanda and Thor had disappeared shortly after your arrival, saying he wanted some time for himself. 

To say you were worried about the God of Thunder would’ve been an understatement. You cared deeply for him and seeing him isolate himself, not being his cheerful and bubbly self, hurt you more than you wanted to admit. Turning a corner you entered one of the many hallways, empty of any people, so continued to walk through the huge building, trying your best to find your boyfriend in the labyrinth of hallways and lab rooms.

It was hard to not notice him, his giant body sitting hunched over on the wooden bench in the hallway, grey jacket stretching over his broad back while the god continued to fiddle with his fingers. His head was hanging low, eyes cast downward, as he was deep in thoughts, not noticing you approach him.

You could only imagine the thoughts spinning inside his head, now that you were back in the Avengers headquarters together with Steve, Nat and Bruce, trying to come up with a plan on how to bring everyone back. 

Your friends. 

Your family. 

All dead. 

They vanished right in front of your eyes after Thanos had managed to collect all Infinity Stones, wiping away half of earth’s population. You all had tried to stop him, back in Wakanda but it didn’t work. In the end, you only had to watch your loved ones turn to dust, scattering in the wind while you were trying to comprehend what the hell was going on. Just the thought of watching Sam disappear right before you brought tears into your eyes, he was your best friend, had been for years. He was the one who took care of you when your heart got broken by your ex-boyfriend cheating on you, he was the one visiting you in hospital when you got injured on a mission and he was the one who introduced you to Thor, your current boyfriend and the man who was sitting before you, troubled with survivor’s guilt, his hands raking through his short hair before resting his head on them.

“Babe?” you quiet voice made Thor look up, seeing you limp around the bench, still injured from the fight, your leg in a brace which limited your movement as well as the fact that you had bruises covering your entire body, several broken ribs and a big plaster covering the laceration on your forehead. 

The god held out his hand, helping you settle down next to you as you leaned your head against his broad shoulder. He didn’t bother faking a smile, knowing you’d see right through him.

“This is all my fault,” he whispered, mostly towards himself, not meaning for you to hear his words. Needless to say, you did anyway.

Lifting your head up you looked at the side profile of your boyfriend, his eyes focused on the wall in front of you, “It’s not your fault. There’s nothing you could’ve done.”

Thor slowly turned his face towards you, grief and sorrow clouding his eyes as he looked at you.

“They’re all dead because of me. Sam, Bucky, T’Challa and Shuri. All those soldiers that died for nothing, protecting the soul stone with their lives. So many people sacrificed their lives and now they’re dead because of me, because I didn’t kill him. Heimdall and Loki, too. My brother is dead, my people are dead because I lead them into an ambush. I could’ve saved them, I could’ve stopped Thanos but I didn’t. Innocent people died and I…I did nothing,” Thor croaked out, his voice turning rough, tears welling up in his eyes as he spiralled down a path of guilt and agony, “Do you not understand, my love?”

He had lost everything, his father in Valhalla, his planet destroyed because of his crazy sister of death, a majority of his people dead, Loki killed by Thanos, half of earth’s population gone and he blamed himself for everything.

“It’s not your fault. All of this, it wasn’t you. You did the best you could and no one is blaming you for what happened,” you tried to convince your boyfriend, grasping tightly onto his hand, aggravation clear in your voice.

Thor, however, had other plans. He jumped up from the bank you both were sitting on, pacing up and down in front of you while running his hands through his short hair, tugging on the strands before he came to a stop right before you.

“Stop! Stop telling me these lies when we both know it’s my fault. Don’t you see? I’m the reason your best friend is dead, (Y/N). Sam is dead. And so is Bucky. Most of your friends and your family is dead just because I messed up and you’re trying to comfort me? Be angry at me, tell me you hate me, scream at me for being the reason the people most important to you are gone.”

“Don’t you think I know?” you fumed, tears clouding your vision, your red-rimmed eyes staring up into your boyfriend’s eyes as you dragged yourself into a standing position before him, purposefully ignoring the hand he offered you to help you up.

“I know that they’re gone. I know that my parents are dead. Fuck, I tried to call them, I tried so many times but they didn’t pick up the phone so I know they’re gone. My parents are dead. My best friend disappeared right in front of my eyes and we have no fucking clue if Tony or Peter are still alive, hell, we don’t even know where the fuck they are but you know what? This? All of this mess? It’s not your fault. So stop pitying yourself and look around you, we need you here, and I can’t stand seeing you like this because I love you. And nothing in the whole universe will ever stop that. Not even that purple asshole.”

Lowering his head you could see the tears collecting in your boyfriend’s eyes as he sat back down onto the bench, prompting you to follow suit, taking his offered hand as you gently lowered yourself next to him in order to go easy on your injured leg. Once sat down you help your arms wide open for Thor, your boyfriend not waiting long before burying his face into your chest.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, my love,” he whimpered, his tears soaking through your shirt.

You couldn’t help but let shock take over your body, never before have you seen your boyfriend in this state, usually always pretending to be hard on the outside even though he was an absolute softie behind closed doors but you had never seen the God of Thunder openly cry. His reaction only caused your own tears to roll down your cheeks, allowing yourself to show your emotions for the first time ever since you saw your friends turn into dust right in front of you several days ago.

“It’s not your fault,” you repeated yourself, stroking your boyfriend’s muscular back while tears continued to fall from both your eyes, drenching your shirt and wetting his hair, “You did the best you could do and no one blames you for that, you hear me? It’s not your fault.”


End file.
